So, two interesting things happened to me this week that had never happened before:
First, I’d been nursing what I thought was tonsilitis since last week. Then, suddenly, this disgustingly gross I don’t even know what grows in my throat and I’m like, “This is a first.” So I call my doctor and…he doesn’t call me back. So I find a new doctor. And even though by the time I see him the gross disgusting whatever in my throat has shrunk, it’s still there. And he’s like “Ah, so have you ever had mono?” And I’m like “UM, no” and do not decide to tell him the story of how I was one of only a few people on my floor freshman year of college to not get it. And he’s all like “Get out.” And I’m like “No, I’ve never had it.” And he’s like “Because that thing in your throat is caused by one of two things: A food particle is caught in one of your tonsil’s pouches or mono.”
People. I’m 34 years old, and I possibly have mono for the first time in my life. Making it even more head scratching is that writing this book, along with making me MIA from blogging a lot, has kept me from being, uh, smoochy-smoochy with anyone. I don’t share drinks with people. I don’t have any contact with other people’s saliva as far as I know. It could still be the food particle thing, but I doubt I would’ve had swollen glands with that now, would I? So yes. I get mono roughly 20 years after I should’ve had it for the first time. Makes sense. I’m going to blame the air ventilation system on the PATH, which blows so harshly it dries out my contacts, so why wouldn’t it blow other people’s germs down my throat? Or maybe it’s my dungeon of an office. Who knows.
Also for the first time this week, as many of you have experienced as well: Snow in October. And not just flurries. Like, full-on ugly wet snow. Along with never having had mono, that’s never happened in my whole life before Halloween, either.
It’s like the wintry weather got jealous of the earthquake followed by a hurricane thing and decided to let loose early, to remind us it’s still the superior form of natural phenomenon or something. Weather is immature like that.
Since these things tend to happen in threes, I’m going to hope my first lotto win happens this week. Or my first book deal comes through. Or something awesome along those lines.
